I have been back at work so I have had no free time. This week is my last week and then I will start parental leave until January. Hooray!!! Yes, I was kind of crazy to be going back so soon, but we did survive. Dan did a great job of taking care of Evelyn while I was back. There were some difficult times when she refused to eat from a bottle, but she has become quite accepting of it now. I ended up working shorter days (6 hours including lunch) to make it a bit easier on Dan and Evelyn and that seemed to be just right.

Evelyn is about 16 pounds and very long (exact length to be discovered Monday when I take her in for vaccination #2). She smiles at everything and everyone, holds her head up when she is on her tummy and is starting to sleep a bit longer at night. Typically she falls asleep around 9 or 10 and wakes up 4-5 hours later to eat once during the night. Some nights she wakes up again around 3-5 AM, which is not cool with mommy. I will be working on getting her out of that habit. She had worked her way up to 9 hours a night at one point, but has since switched back to 4-5 hours maximum, so I know she is capable of it! Also a few times I have been able to put her in the crib and she would fall asleep on her own.

I have noticed that my blog seems to have a purple background behind the text on some PCs and will try to fix this in the near future. It looks fine on my Mac and my work PC, so it’s probably a stupid IE problem.

Anyway, we just returned from our trip to Alberta. We buried my Mother’s ashes in the family plot and then we visited my Aunt and Uncle, my Dad and Dan’s family. In a way the burial helped bring some closure to everything, but it also makes me think about things again and it brings out a lot of emotion. It feels very lonely to lose a mother, even though I have all my family and Dan’s family.

Evelyn spent a lot of time in the car seat during the trip and I had to use a pacifier to calm her down most of the time, but I think she started to get used to it by the end. We were able to meet up with some friends in Edmonton and Calgary as well, which was really great. Evelyn got to meet her cousin Zoe for the first time, but neither seemed all that interested in the other baby. The day before we left there was a baby shower for Evelyn and Zoe and we had a fun time making crepes in the morning and then having BBQ corn on the cob and BBQ perogies along with other goodies in the afternoon. We also had a chance to enjoy some very good steak from “The Butcher Shoppe” located in Airdrie. If you live anywhere near there, I highly recommend buying some meat from them. Just going into the store is enough to make you hungry. Anyway, check out the pictures here.

Every time I go back I am surprised how dry it is in Alberta. My sinuses were burning the whole time, I ended up getting rather sick and at one point I felt like my eyeballs were drying up. Evelyn was so thirsty that she started waking up every 2 hours to eat during the night. Now that we are back she has completely lost her ability to go to sleep easily and I have had to try so many things to convince her to sleep. I am trying to start a routine that involves a book (Pat the Bunny) and a song. However I finally pulled out the big guns tonight and gave her an unnecessary bath and had to give her the pacifier for about 20 minutes so she would fall asleep. It is getting better, though, as she was crying for hours on Sunday and Monday, which she never did before.

Dan’s Mom bought an Exersaucer for the babies to play in and Evelyn quite liked it, unlike the swing. She’s a hands-on, interactive baby who likes to stand and move, so it’s much more suited to her. We bought one tonight and she seemed to like it. I am hoping it will finally allow me to get a few things done around the apartment when I am on mat leave and Dan is at school. Like cooking. And laundry. And showering.

1. Clean between your child’s toes, even if they don’t want you to. About a week ago Dan noticed a “pink thing” between Evie’s toes and I fully expected it to come out when we gave her a bath. However a few days later she was sleeping and I happened to get a closer look at her feet and decided to look between her toes. For a few minutes I was worried that there was some horrible kind of athlete’s foot growing in there – there was what appeared to be white fungus with pink spots near the skin (which were sores in my worried mind)! However, on further inspection I discovered that it was … sock lint. Imagine having 6 weeks of sock lint between your toes – pretty gross. So now I regularly clean them with a Q-tip
2. Don’t trim nails in poor lighting. Yes, I pinched Evelyn’s thumb with the nail clippers yesterday. Poor girl!

Dan caught a cold and gave it to her, so I have also learned how to use a nasal aspirator. She does not like it one bit. But if I don’t do it she is all stuffed up and has a hard time nursing. Also we are trying to introduce her to bottles for when I am back at work. Sometimes she is quite happy to have them, other times she is so worked up that she doesn’t give them a chance. We’re really hoping it will get better closer to July.

Yesterday was my mother’s birthday so Dan and I went out to Chalet BBQ as a way to remember her. She was a fan of roast chicken and we would often go to Swiss Chalet together.

It’s hot and muggy right now and it’s hard to get motivated to do anything. It looks like the next few weeks before I go back to work will be quite busy, though. I’m hoping we can all go to Jean Talon market before I start work again.

I found a wonderful online store this past week: the Playstore, located in California, sells high-quality, renewable & non-toxic nautral sweatshop-free toys, made mostly out of wood and cotton. They sell a good selection of the wooden toys made by Plan Toys. I was searching for a baby brush with nautral bristles and decided to buy a wooden vegetable toy set (so Kicky can cook when we’re cooking!), a super-cute carrot rattle and the brush, which is so incredibly soft it feels like it’s made out of feathers. They shipped to Can for only $7 US via post (no stress for missing UPS delivieries) and were very friendly. So I highly recommend this to anyone who has kids or is buying presents for kids. I think the wishlist will have a few things from this store added to it in the next few years!

I scanned and uploaded three drawings my mom did.

Yesterday Dan’s mom and I visited Jean-Talon market and mostly avoided the sleet. The market is still indoors but I was able to buy some oranges, ground cherries, avocados and strawberries. We also ate lunch at the restaurant and had Polish donuts for dessert.

For something on the serious side: we bought the Gazette last saturday and I recommend reading this story (warning, it’s graphic) – it’s something that shows the worst and the best in people. It’s a horrifying example of how vulnerable women are in times of war and conflict.

• Worked on a document about qPCR, responded to emails re same
• Fought with computer to access network drives at work
• Several grocery shopping trips
• Unsuccessful search for wooden baby brush with natural bristles
• Made will
• Filed taxes
• Uploaded photos from a Sunday afternoon at the Botanical Gardens (from February).
• Doctor’s appointment
• Went swimming (good), stretched my swim suit (bad)
• Worked on estate docs and am currently trying to choose a suitable memorial
• Cleaned mouse cage
• Laundry
• Diaper service lady came to our place and explained how it worked
• Cooking
• Updated cookbook
• Naps!
• And now I can also say … blog

Dan’s mom arrived today and we picked her up from the airport. We had the worst taxi ride ever coming back. The guy was a real smart Aleck, charged us the flat rate for central Montreal ($10 more than if he used the meter) and smoked in the van. Yes, he saw I was pregnant. I did not tip. Anyway, not sure what the plan will be for today.

At my last check up everything was still the same (except I have gained another pound). The doctor said that it’s time to convince her she should come out, but so far everything I have tried hasn’t worked. I’m really hoping not to be induced.

Tuesday evening we had a tour of the hospital. There were a lot of people there – I would easily guess 100 couples and I think it was more people than the staff were expecting. The tour consisted of a presentation and then visiting the birthing centre and unit. Although it was fairly time consuming (2 hours total) it was fairly informative and quite reassuring for me. I found all of their standard policies to be in line with what I think, which is great.

Wednesday night we had our prenatal class as usual. It was Valentine’s day but we had to postpone our meal until Friday. It was a class about breastfeeding so we got to see a video with lots of different breasts – big ones, small ones, squirty ones, engorged ones … all sorts. Not our usual Valentine’s day fare, that’s fur sure! The weather was starting to royally suck at this point – very cold, windy and snowy. Thursday I had my doctor’s appointment and the weather was awful. To give you an idea how bad it was, I usually wait for an hour at the doctor’s office if I turn up at the scheduled time. This Thursday I came about 40 minutes late and there was nobody in the waiting room. This is an office that has 5 doctors in it. By that time, my doctor was the only one still there! Anyway, everything is still on track. Kicky is head-down (a good thing to be at this point) and will hopefully stay that way. She is more “punchy” rather than “kicky” now since there isn’t so much room for her to extend her legs, but on the rare occasion that she does it is surprisingly painful, especially since they are right under my ribs. She has very strong leg muscles. She’s very responsive now and if Dan talks to her or we touch where her feet are, her hands move around a lot (I wonder if it tickles?).

I had another breastfeeding class Thursday evening so Dan and I went out for supper and then I trekked my way to the hospital for the class. Again, long but informative.

Friday was break time. Dan and I made steak, battered shrimp and asparagus. Dan invented this amazing steak marinade:
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tabelspoon red wine vinegar
1 teaspoon Worchestershire sauce
1 small clove of garlic, sliced
a few slices of ginger
6-10 parsley leaves
freshly ground salt and pepper to taste
It was really good.

Today we finally resolved the car seat issue. We went to le Carrousel du Parc which is a great store specializing in car seats and strollers. After speaking with the very friendly and knowledgeable lady, we ended up choosing a Britax Marathon, which is the best convertible car seat available in North America. So no more worrying about that – Kicky has a safe way to get home from the hospital now and we can travel without worrying about trying to borrow or rent a seat. I was really impressed with the store – although it is small they have a great selection and it wasn’t crowded and busy like the other stores I have visited. They also rent car seats for people who don’t need to buy – an infant car seat can be rented for only $80 for 6 months. If we didn’t know we would be travelling this year, this would have been a great solution too. We also put a McLaren Stroller on order. We won’t need it until she is 3-6 months old so there is no rush to get it.

We took the bus back to Place des arts metro and I stopped in to St. Viateur bagel – my first time going there. It was awesome. Also we happened to be at the corner of Parc and St. Viateur at around 11 AM on a Saturday and it was quite an interesting and new experience for me to see so many members of the Hasidic Jewish community going to temple.

Dans’ French class is going astonishingly well. It looks like a very well put together syllabus, focussing on the way sentences are formed rather than trying to crush the students under grammar rules when they still don’t know how to identify adverbs and adjectives. Dan bought a new blingual dictionary two weeks ago and the funny thing is that when I looked at it last night, I realised it’s a euro-centric one, which is kind of surprising to find in a Quebecois-run book store. It has definitions for Midlands, Y-fronts and Londonner, for goodness sake! And also it steers clear of any double-meaning slang words like “make out”, for which there is no reference of kissing.

I forgot to mention that poor Miette had a rough week when the apartment next to ours was being varnished. Not only did she have to deal with the smell, but had to keep warm when we had the windows open. By the end of that week she was rather snappy at us, but has since cheered up and seems to be just fine. Poor mousie. Actually she has mellowed out quite a bit in middle age and I can easily catch her now. She still has her quirks and sometimes squeeks at nothing (well to us it’s nothing, but she’s probably telling the objects in her cage a thing or two). If only they coulkd speak.

Dan has been appaled at my inability to keep abrest with current goings-on (on multiple occasions he would ask what I thought about the latest news item and I would reply with a blank look or a “Who?”). He has since coached me to adopt a regular form of information and we finally decided the Satuday paper is probably the best way to go. We tried getting daily papers for a while but it soon let to uncontrollable piles of newsprint all over our place, so at least with one paper we have a week to get through it. I’ve tried out most of the local options, none of which are perfect, but I think I have narrowed it down to the Globe and Mail. I find the Gazette inane and self-congratulatory, le Devoir way beyond me, La Presse to be far too focussed on Quebec and the French-speaking world, The National Post to be a waste of time. So unless we want to try the local paper of another city (Toronto, for example), the Globe is it. I have tried it three times so far and been quite happy with it so far. I enjoy the “Focus” section which always has a multi-page article on something highly relevant to today’s current events and also quite informative. Their articles in response to the recent climate change “awakening” (after decades of warning, we have finally started to pay attention, I guess) have been for the most part reasonable and insightful. So there you have it.

Speaking of news, ever considering a move to Herouxville, Quebec?. Don’t forget to consider that you will be expected to follow the town’s norms on meat consumption, so Jews, Muslims and vegetarians needs not apply. All this is hilighted by the recent debate on whether the residents of this province are “more racist” than the rest of the country. Obviously this is a very sensitive topic but one thing I can saw with certainty is that there is a common categorization of people from Asian backgrounds as “Chinois”, often in a derogatory way. My former co-worker, who is Korean, was racially insulted at least three times druing the past year. I also caught some astonishing comments directed towards “les Chinois” this past December in a research institute. This is not to say other places in Canada are free of racism – I just think is goes to show how we’re still struggling with it. So let’s skip the stereotype that Alberta is full of racists and the rest of the country is full of progressive, tolerant people.

We have two more prenatal classes left, one girls-only breastfeeding class this Thursday and a hospital tour on Tuesday. It will all be over by the 21st of Feb, after which we should have a bit more free time again. We still have not resolved the car seat issue, and it’s not exactly like the situation makes the choice easy either. My goal is to get something figured out next weekend.

It looks like everything is on track for the condo sale, which closes next Friday. It will be strange to think that mom’s place will belong to someone else. I remember when she first started looking into it when I was in junior high school and those first few years when I helped out while she was the caretaker – changing light bulbs, washing the glass doors and vacuuming. It is a strange thing to cut your last tie to a place you once thought of as home, especially if you’re currently renting and a bit uncertain about where you will be in the next 5 years.

We’ve been trying to minimize our ecological footprint lately by buying and using eco-friendly cleaners and recycled paper products. The city of Montreal and our nearby eco co-op have done an excelleing job in providing information and products to make the process both painless and enjoyable. So far we have tried eco dish soap and laundry detergent and have made homemade cleaners from mixes of Borax, vinegar, baking soda and “washing soda” according to the recipes in the document linked below, which have worked quite well. We have both felt it is unnecessary and potentially harmful to use household cleaners with toxic chemicals, especially with Kicky on the way. We have also bought recyled paper tissues and paper towel. The next fronteir is biodegradable garbage bags.
City of Montreal eco info – follow the third link
OR
Download the PDF directly.

Just for fun: Bacteria: unseen superheroes. Podcasts avaiable here!

Mom always had heartburn and I do remember her having a lot of antacids when I was younger. It’s something she never made a big deal of and I had honestly forgotten about it until just recently. Hearburn by itself is annoying but in serious cases when left untreated can lead to a condition known as Barret’s esophagus. While the stomach lining is capable of handling the low pH associated with gastric contents, the esophagus is very sensitive to them. In this condition the epithelium of the esophagus becomes damaged and some of the underlying cells start to grow in abnormal ways. This is where lower esophageal cancer begins. Now not many people actually know about this and I’m sure until very recently mom didn’t either. She probably just dismissed it as an annoying problem that wasn’t anything to worry about.

Around January or February this year I was speaking to her over the phone and she was telling me about some stomach pain she had. I had recently recovered from an episode of gastritis and what she described sounded quite similar to what I had. I told her it was important to see a doctor and she was started in a proton pump inhibitor which raises the pH of the gastric contents and reduces the irritation. It sounded like it was helping for a bit. She said she wasn’t able to eat some of her meals and was replacing them with Ensure, which is what is used for some patients who can’t have solid food.

I think over the next 7 months things got progressively worse, since by the time she called me on October 3rd she wasn’t eating any solid food at all. It turns out the problem was that it was too painful to swallow, since the tumor that was developing right by the junction of her esophagus and stomach was getting large. I don’t know when her doctor started to think it might be esopageal cancer, but he did have her go for a barium swallow and an endoscopy near the end of September. These two techniques clearly indicated the presence of the tumor and he told her on Oct 3rd. A biopsy was done and she was to have the result the following week. The doctor ordered a CT scan as well, which helps indicate the size of the tumor and if it had spread.

Until about 2 weeks before this, she was living life as usual – working at her job (which is quite physically demanding), spending time with her guy friend and taking care of her place and her dog. She decided to take sick leave to spend some time recovering, likely because she had noticed how much weight she lost and because she started to have more pain. She didn’t tell me about any of this until she had her official diagnosis from the doctor. She called me after work and said in a straightforward voice “well I have the big C” and my immediate reaction was to ask if it could be removed. For certain types of cancer, surgical removal and therapy is often quite successful so at first I had hoped something like this was possible. However she laid it all out to me just as her doctor had for her and I realised that the treatment wasn’t pleasant and that she likely had less than a year.

If the CT scan was good, the next step would be to remove her esophagus and the tumor and rebuild it with a part of her stomach. The more you think about this, the more you realise just how invasive this kind of surgery really is. There are a lot of complications associated with it and I don’t think it would have been pleasant for her at all. The problem was that she had lost so much weight (over 30 pounds) that she wasn’t even in good enough shape for the surgery. In order to help her gain some weight, the doctor had her come in for a feeding tube to be installed on Thursday. This is a routine procedure to help someone who can’t eat on their own and has very few complications. Nevertheless, mom seemed quite worried about it and I told her it was nothing to worry about.

During our phone conversations Tuesday and Wednesday night she asked me questions about how the plans for the baby were and if we had picked any names yet. I told her we were going to find out the gender in November and she said that she really wanted to be around for that. I was still trying to be hopeful and thought she would be around for April and could actually see her grandchild. I was really upset about all this and spent most of Tuesday night and Wednesday morning crying. I decided to go to work since I needed to be distracted from the thoughts I was going through.

Since I found out I was pregnant I had been thinking a lot about my childhood and all the things mom did for me as a child. She really loved me and did everything she could for me. She wanted to keep working but gave it up to take better care of me. She spent over 10 years at home cooking, helping me with projects, teaching me things (I really remember “helping” her make cookies at Christmas and pizza) and encouraging me. Of course we had tough times and being such a practical woman, we often didn’t share our close feelings with each other. Her life was far from tragic but it certainly had it’s elements of loss and hardship in it, including the death of her brother and father when she was very young and her mother having to give up the family farm.

So thinking about all these things made me feel particuarly upset since out of all the times you want your mother to be around in your life, it is when you are having your first child. I kept saying to my co-workers that I would have to have a “help hotline” where I could call her and ask how she did things with me. When she told me her diagnosis I was particularly upset since I knew this would never happen and was really worried she would never experience the joy of having a grandchild. After years of warning me not to have children when I was too young, we both knew that it was about time something got started. Thankfully I let her in on the secret before anyone else and I even told her when we were making our plans to start trying. I’m really glad I did that.

So on Thursday Oct 5th she went to the hopsital for the placement of her feeding tube. She called me Thursday night from home and said she was really tired but ok. She thought she would be fine staying at home by herself but fortunately my aunt had the good sense to come over and bring her to her house. My mom stayed there until Monday morning. She was supposed to have an appointment the following day to actually learn how to use the tube and start the feeding with it, but was too tired. The appointment was rescheduled for Tuesday after the thanksgiving weekend. It must have been annoying to have this thing in place and not even be using it all that time. I spoke with her on the phone at work Friday and she sounded quite bad and her smoker’s cough sounded about a hundred times worse than normal. I spoke to her again Saturday and briefly on Sunday. She started on some painkillers Friday since the tube seemed to be irritating her stomach and she sounded quite a bit better on the weekend, but very tired and, for the first time, a bit scared. We discussed plans for me to come visit her before November and I told her I could come anytime and had a week of vacation left. She wanted to wait until her results on Tuesday and then we could decide. On thanksgiving Monday my aunt emailed me and said she had to take mom to the hospital and that she would be staying there. In retrospect I realise how serious the symptoms she described to me were, but at the time neither of us thought it would be as serious as it was. Mom was very dehydrated and the nurses had a hard time putting in an IV and she had thrown up some of the contents of her lower digestive tract, which is clearly an indication of a serious problem. At this point I was thinking it would be good to come on Wednesday rather than waiting for later in the month and asked my aunt to keep me posted. I was really worried. Around 1 AM she called and said mom had gone in for emergency surgery and there was about a 50% chance she would not survive.

I booked a flight for the following morning at 6:45 and packed. Dan and I stayed up all night and discussed the plans for the coming week. I booked a taxi at 5:15, cancelled some appointments, informed my co-workers and headed off to the airport. Dan went to school the following day without sleeping and told his voice teacher, who had gone through the death of one of her parents and insisted he be with me. She said he could take a few weeks and she would make sure it was ok with his other teachers. She was (and is) incredibly supportive and told him the most important thing would be to be with me. I took my flight and was in pretty bad shape myself. I hadn’t heard how the surgrey had went so the entire time I was expecting anything from her death to finding her conscious when I arrived. I worried a lot about how the next few months would go and if she would be staying at the hospital or would recover enough to have the surgery (if they hadn’t already removed the tumor). I knew she wasn’t in good enough shape for the surgery and tried to prepare myself for the worst.

When I landed, Dan’s parents picked me up in Calgary and took me to Red Deer. On the way I spoke with my aunt, who said things were “very bad” and that she would meet me at the hospital with my mom’s personal directive (a document stating the wishes of someone who is not capable of making medical decisions, especially those about life support). I realised things were probably going to end that day. When we arrived at the hopsital I went to the ICU to see her. I had been quite worried about how I would react when I saw her. In some ways it was better to actually see her but it was also the worst moment of my life.

Here is where things will get a bit descriptive, so if you are squeemish, proceed with caution. She was in a room by herself and hooked up to at least 2 IVs and a respirator. She was lying turned slightly on her side. I saw there had been another feeding tube (at least that’s what I think it was) placed in her neck. Of course she was completely unaware of me. Dan’s mom suggested I feel her hand and I tried to take her right hand. It was cold and stiff. That was where the IV was hooked up and I saw a large bruise where it had been inserted. Her cathetar bag had filled with blood, indicating her kidneys were not working anymore. I knew from seeing her that it was over. There was absolutely no way she would recover from this. I met with the ICU doctor who had taken over her case and he told me about what happened. Essentially the tumor was very large and had begun to destroy her gastrointestinal tract. He said the tissue lining it was “paper thin” and the presence of the feeding tube had perforated her stomach and colon. I don’t know if this was gradual or sudden, but it does explain the pain and tiredness she had experienced since Thursday. She had subsequently developed an infection. During the surgery they did their best to repair the damage, but her body was ready to go. They made some very heroic efforts to keep her alive, mainly since they knew I was coming and wanted me to decide what should be done as her only next of kin. There were three drugs being used to keep her heart beating and her blood pressure was 60 and dropping. He told me that she had lost the function of almost all her organ systems, the loss of each reducing her chance of survival by about 20%. I knew her wishes from her personal directive and we discussed the three options. First, we could continue her treatment and tests and wait for her to die, which could take quite some time. Second, we could stop the tests and gradually withdraw some of the treatments (i.e. the drugs helping her heart beat) and she would pass away within a few hours. Third, we could stop all treatment including the respirator and she would die within a few minutes. He recommended against the third, being the most traumatic and drastic. I asked him to proceed with the second. In the meantime I was waiting for my Dad to arrive and when he came I told him what had happend he went to see her. He needed to go outside for a few minutes and during that time (about 5:20 PM) the nurse informed me that my mom had passed away. When he returned I told him and he saw her again. I left my information and the name of the funeral home with the nurses and went to my aunt’s house.

During all this, Dan’s parents were with me and did everything they could to support me. It was the best thing they could have done, since it would have been worse alone. It was a very hard thing to go through but I was glad I could see her one last time.

We managed to find places for all of my mom’s things. She really had a lot of stuff and because she was so organized she found ways to store it all in her 1 bedroom condo. Sorting through her clothing alone took two days and I was able to consign some in Red Deer, give some away to family and we took the rest to Value Village (and supposedly the money from the sale of the items will go to the Canadian Diabetes Foundiation). As for furniture, Dan’s parents took a very nice metal bedframe my great-uncle used to have as well as a few other items and Dan’s sister has one of the desks. The rest didn’t find a home so it was sold in an estate sale or will be auctioned on Nov 4th. I wish I had more time to find better places for some of her things (or the space here to take them). As for the things she made, we kept three of her paintings (two of which she did herself) and my aunt and Dan’s parents have the others she made. There were also 5 afghans she crocheted and they have all found homes too. Dan and I took some of her kitchen stuff which was either much nicer than ours or had memories for me, like our gingerbread man cookie cutter. Poor Dan had to do so much lifting – I really don’t know what I would have done without him there.

When we went through her books and CDs, Dan thought it would be a good idea to make a record of her music collection. He and his dad listed all her music CDs on an account they made on the listal website (http://jbwillis.listal.com/).

We also found some baby items she must have bought for us – a baby monitor, changing pad, some maternity clothing and some CDs to help babies sleep.

We arrived last night on a Westjet flight and I was quite pleased with the service. I will definitely continue to fly Westjet in the future. When I left I had a medium-sized suitcase that was half-empty and Dan had a small one, when we came back we each had two that were filled to the brim. My larger one alone was 47 pounds and I think the combined weight was over 100. Miraculously we managed to find places for everything we brought with us. The scary thing is that there are 15 boxes of things coming by mail which we will have to deal with. At least we should have a few weeks before they arrive.

Today there was literally a mountain of laundry to do but we managed to get it all taken care of. We also planned the meals and did the grocery shopping, so things are under control. As I was putting things away today I found the Christmas present I bought for her – it was a bottle of fine sea salt soaked in Merlot and herbs that I bought in Toulouse. I think she would have liked it.

I felt some more “tickles” yesterday.

Next we had to sort out her pet clothing. She had a pet dog and was very talented when it came to sewing so she had made a variety of “jackets” for her dog and was also selling them at the farmer’s market across the street. Again, there were hundreds of them. I sorted them into two different grades based on how fancy they were. We will try to consign the fancy ones in the pet stores in Westmount and the others I took to the pet store. They couldn’t buy them but decided to have a charity auction and donate the money to a fund for helping pets that would otherwise end up euthanized at the SPCA, and do it in her name. My cousin Brad and his son arrived and helped us load up some more boxes.

We came back for supper and then Dan and I hoped to catch a movie but nothing was playing that we wanted to see. So instead we walked out to the main road and tried to go to Arby’s (it was closed) but did find dill pickle chip dip. We also went to Sobey’s and found a particular salad dressing mix I can’t get in Quebec and also some BC wine that isn’t sold in Quebec. We thought about stealing a milk crate from the pizza place but changed our minds. Then for the hilight of the evening – Dan went to the Starbucks and remembered he had a Starbucks gift card in his wallet. I think I gave it to him 4 years ago since we haven’t really gone to Starbucks in Montreal. Anyway, how he managed to keep this in his wallet all this time yet not have his library card with him is beyond me. We checked the balace and it as … 63 cents! So he bought a coffee and we were off home.

When we got back we played monopoly with my nephew Chase (who has only ever lost twice in his life) and I totally owned him. I think he still thinks I’m ok though.

Dan flew to Calgary last night and will be coming to Red Deer today. It will be good to have him here. We’re going for brunch at Phil’s, where I used to work and where Mom and I (or all three of us) would go for a coffee when we visited. Dan’s parents have been with me for many of the events that transpired this week (more in a later post) and my Aunt and Uncle, at whose house we are staying, have been too kind and helpful for words. I have spoken to many people who knew my mother including her co-workers, close friend, and even her postman called today. It turns out he would come up for a cup of tea and a chat every now and then and today he told me she was “the sweetest woman in the world”. My co-workers and friends have all sent me very kind messages of support as well and they are greatly appreciated.

We are starting to take care of her various accounts (as an avid eBayer, she had several credit cards!) which is a surprising amount of work. Nevertheless, she was incredibly organized and we think she had a premonition something might happen since she emailed me all her information on accounts and monthly transactions before her first hopsital appointment last week.

The question you all want answered is how I am doing with the baby. Everything seems fine so far, I have been trying to eat (of course I have lost my apetite a bit) and although I didn’t sleep much the other nights I did succeed in having a very good sleep last night (first time since Sunday). I should be feeling the baby move anytime from now so it has been an exciting thing to anticipate. It is a very hard thing to know my mom will not be around to see her grandchild(ren) but I have many good memories of all the things she did for me and I am very glad I told her in September I was expecting. Actually she is the only one I let in on the plan way back in April and she wasn’t surprised at all when I told her.

I just noticed the sidebar for this page is all messed up in IE6 on my aunt’s PC, not sure why as I’ve never noticed a problem on my work PC before. Will look into it when I get back.