Parkade woes

So our building has an underground parkade, which is great. I love going downstairs and NOT having to shovel/scrape the car and that our car is WARM when we get in. Seriously, it’s luxurious.

Getting out of our parkade, however, is another story. The ramp that leads out to the street is very steep and the angle at which it intersects the road is impossibly sharp. That means that cars that are low to the ground (like ours) will scrape the undercarriage unless some fancy manouvering is done. Dan calls is the “shuttle re-entry”. Basically what one has to do is go up the ramp, turn the car at the last minute to bring the two wheels on one side over the edge of the parkade, bring the other front wheel over and then finally the back wheel. This is done simultaneously as the following:

1. watching for other cars who are exiting/entering at the same time
2. listening to the kids whine they don’t like the music we put on
3. repeatedly pressing the button on the keychain fob to keep opening the parkade door, which sometimes decides to start closing right after it reaches the top
4. avoiding little 80 year old ladies who think the alley is a sidewalk, or groups of Korean exchange students who also think the alley is a sidewalk and walk even slower than the 80 year old ladies
5. avoiding entire families (with strollers!) who think the alley is a sidewalk
6. watching for and avoiding garbage and recycling trucks
7. watching for and avoiding drivers who use the alley as a shortcut to avoid one way streets in the neighbourhood (and some of them drive recklessly fast, clearly not noticing the FLASHING BLUE light that is activated when the parkade door opens, the fact that a CAR is coming out of the parkade or the possibility that someone might be pulling out of the parking lot of the next door building).
8. not get blinded by the low-in-the-sky southerly winter sun

Yes, I am serious. At least one of these happens every time we go out of our parkade! Not surprisingly, we have had a few “incidents”. Fortunately, never with people or other cars (we’re always very cautious when we leave) … just with the parkade itself. The first thing that happened was we scratched some kind of plastic cover off the bottom of the car. Replaced it and scratched it off again. Dan broke off the part and as far as we can tell the car isn’t any worse off, so whatever.

The second thing that happened was I had a little “accident” going into the parkade once. Our strategy was to hug the wall when entering the parkade to allow as much angle as possible, but I got a bit too close and scratched the side of the car. Badly. Like insurance claim badly. This week Dan had to avoid an oncoming garbage truck and had another incident, for which we will need to put in another insurance claim.

When I call the insurance company or get a quote (or make a police report, which I had to do for the first accident because it was over $2000) people just don’t believe me. They furrow their eyebrows and squint their eyes trying to picture it. It makes us look totally ridiculous! Seriously, who can’t get out of their parkade without scratching the car anyway??

Parkade, I hate you! (and I love you)