I just got my first real spam in about three years. Spam sure has (d)evolved since I last received one. I enjoyed reading it so much, I have posted it below for your enjoyment. My comments in italics.
My Dear, Ok, first of all, the only people who get to call me ‘dear’ are Dan and my family – you, however, I have never met and suspect are a bot, so back off!
Compliments. For what? I’ll make something up … hmm … how about ‘Compliments on our astounding genuis?’ Gee, thanks!
I am Mr. Hans Verkoren, Member of the Executive Committee (ING) (FSI) Post Bank N.V. The Netherlands. Congratulations, sounds like a cushy job. But why are you emailing me from an address in Italy?
I was a former Representive/ C.E.O of an Oil Company in Russia. Whoa, I don’t even want to go there!
I seek your partnership in using your name and informations to Re-Profile Ten Million Euros(10,000,000.00), of a diseased kept in with our bank located in Europe. I don’t want a diseased anything, expecially 10 million of them!
You will be offered 20% as management fee for investment in your country or outside your country in which you will advice me because my status does not permit me to own such large amount. I’m not so sure my government allows me to own such a large amount of foreign stocks & bonds either.
Please this transaction requires strict confidenciality because the fund is not for us, it is only a fortunate discovery. Hmm, not so sure on what you mean there. If it’s not for us, who am I managing it for? But heck, with a fortunate discovery like this, who cares?
also i don’t want any black mail when fund have been claimed. Nor do i. I’ll take this email as a binding contract, ok?
If you are interested, write back WITH YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION LIKE PHONE AND FAX NUMBER,YOUR FULL NAMES AND ADDRESS.by Email Or Fax [&tc.] Wow, I’m sold! Count me in!!! I sincerely hope we can help those poor diseased out. And when do I get my cheque…?
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